Many of us are driven by inner restlessness and longing. A sense that something is missing in life although it is difficult to put our finger on what it is.
We have the belief (even though we may not be aware of it) that when we have a better relationship, a more fulfilling job, more money, the next vacation, a better body or a number of other things that we’ll feel satisfied. That our life will feel more complete.
And yet even when we get a new relationship, more money or whatever it is we still feel there must be more.
So what is it that we’re really looking for? What are we seeking?
At the heart of this seeking is the need to know who we are and why we are here. What is this journey we call life all about?
“There’s a part of every living thing that wants to become itself, the tadpole into the frog, the chrysalis into the butterfly, a damaged human being into a whole one. That is spirituality.” ~ Ellen Bass
This sense that something is missing is often an invitation to become more aware of our essence and who we are beyond the surface level of our life.
I personally experienced a feeling of what I came to call “soul hunger” in my own life which manifested as stress-related health issues, relationship troubles and a lack of meaning and purpose.
This soul hunger is an invitation to embark on an inner journey in order to understand ourselves better and shed the limiting beliefs that are holding us back from becoming our best and most authentic selves.
It often happens at a time in our life when we’re acutely aware that we have a lot to be grateful for.
We notice an inner tug of war between the part of us that tells ourselves we should just be grateful and the part of ourselves that tells us there must be “more.”
And if feeling lost and confused isn’t enough we also feel lonely because we find that most people don’t understand what we’re experiencing. We get the message-
“You have so much and are so fortunate what could possibly be missing in your life?”
I get it because I have been there and experienced these same feelings that were confusing and unsettling. I experienced a dark night of the soul and was really suffering even though I had SO much to feel grateful for.
What are these feelings and inner knowing that something is missing in our lives trying to tell us?
I began to see a pattern in the people I mentor and it usually boils down to three things:
We may be disconnected from our true selves.
In this scenario, we have been so busy focusing on other people or fulfilling the many roles in our lives that we lose touch with our innermost selves. We may have put a lot of time and energy into raising a family, and/or work and then something changes and we’re left asking- Who am I without these roles or this job? What am I meant to “do” now?
It’s not uncommon to lose sight of our own unique values, gifts, needs and what makes us feel most vital and alive.
Our authentic self can easily get buried beneath a whole lot of layers and beliefs. We’re busy being a “good” person and doing what we should do to be productive human beings and in the process, we can lose touch with who we actually are and who we’re meant to become.
We may be longing for deeper and more meaningful relationships.
As we begin to awaken we are less satisfied with living at the shallow end of life.
Our souls long for deep and fulfilling relationships where we can share our most intimate thoughts and feelings with those closest to us.
We want and need deeper connections with people and have a desire to share and discover our authentic selves with others in a safe and nourishing way.
Just as we are meant to grow and evolve, our relationships are also meant to grow and evolve. When this doesn’t happen it’s common to feel like our relationships lack depth.
While earlier in our lives we may be satisfied with relationships that enable us to share the tasks and manage the roles in our lives, there comes a point that our souls need something deeper.
What meets our needs in one chapter of our life doesn’t meet our needs in the next.
Shifting our way of being from a needs-based relationship into more soulful relationships, can be very challenging. But if the soul is needing a deeper connection and it’s not available to us, we are going to feel like something is missing.
Our soul may be longing for deeper meaning and purpose.
This gnawing sense that something is missing in life is a sign that we have a spiritual yearning that we may not be aware of.
It’s an invitation from our soul to bring our life into alignment with our core essence. In The Call of the Soul: 10 Signs Your Soul is Speaking to You, I explore this further.
The Universe, divine, intelligence, God, higher power or whatever you call “it” is setting off an alarm which may be saying: “You are a spiritual being having a human experience.” When we don’t know how to live as spiritual beings it is not surprising that it feels like something is missing.
Our society values material success, achievement, status, and identification with our roles. When we achieve these things and/or something changes we are confused about what does bring us deeper meaning and purpose.
We find ourselves asking what are often considered to be questions arising from our souls- Is this all there is? How am I meant to contribute to something larger than myself? Where am I meant to invest this energy that previously went into my traditional roles and responsibilities?
Spirituality stirs a sense of curiosity, mystery and way of being that acknowledge that there is a life force beyond our control at play in our lives.
The sense that something is missing in life is ultimately an invitation to embark on an inner journey to understand ourselves and get in the “flow” of something much larger than our ego selves.
It’s an opportunity to shift and pivot in our lives from doing what was expected of us in the first half of our lives to responding to what needs to emerge through us for the next part of our journey.
This shift is challenging for many of us and is often a reason that people feel stuck when seeking a more meaningful life.
Eckhart Tolle, one of the great spiritual teachers of our time, explains that when we’re disconnected from our essence we commonly feel like something is missing.
Ultimately, the feeling that something is missing is a powerful sign that you’re disconnected from your higher self and you’re being called to grow.
In the blog, Do You Feel Something Is Missing In Your Life? These Tips May Help I share suggestions for your next steps. It also includes a 10-minute recording of a core meditation practice. That would be my recommendation for a place to start.
When we create space, turn inward and get curious about what is missing in our lives, we open the door to evolving into a more authentic, peaceful and loving version of ourselves.
Leave a comment below. Our community would love to hear from you!
(Published August 2017- Updated July 2020)
Hi Bev
I came across your article when i typed and searched in the google the words “i feel always missing something ”
After I read your article I found out that not only me but lot of people do feel that way.
I don’t know to get better from this situation what steps I will have to take.
Any way thanks for your article
Chris
Hi Chris! Thanks for your comment. You are definitely not alone as many people feel this way. In terms of the steps you can take, it’s not so much about getting better as it creating meaning around your experience so that you can move forward with greater alignment with who you are meant to become. Please send me an email at bev@bevjanisch.com if you need guidance. Take care, Bev
Hey
I need help regarding a similar issue. How to get your services?
Hi there! You can explore my services on my website and send me an email if you have questions. I always love to hear from people!
Hey Bev, I was sensing a drastic drop in my sense of self-fulfillment, I noticed myself have heart palpitation, constantly search for external validation, and just for the ‘something’ on the internet I came across this article after insufficient results for a search of ” What constitutes a wholesome person’.
I cannot begin to tell what a revelation this article was, I had goosebumps right from the beginning. Especially your diagnosis of why we feel something is missing, was so precise and consistent with this feeling
THANK YOU !
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I’m delighted to hear that this article resonated with you and helped you gain some clarity about why you may be feeling something is missing. You are definitely not alone!! Much love on your journey.
It feels like life is just passing me by. I don’t know what this means, any clarification?
Hi Grace! Great question about what it means when you feel like your life is passing you by. You’re wise to ask the question about what it might mean, as that is the first step in discerning what your next step might be. Please feel free to send me an email if you’d like some help exploring what that might mean for you and your life. You have the answers inside you- you just may need some guidance as to how to access them. Take good care!
Well not sure on what to say but I lost my wife dogs house cat cars boat this year in March builders didnt pay me and we had to liquidate and Corona was the nail in the coffin it all was blamed on me and I have nothing 43 starting again I dont know where what how to do anything need inspiration which I’ve sorta found reading this blog
Hi Corbyn! Thanks for sharing and I’m SO sorry that you’re experienced so many losses and are going through a very difficult time. I know a lot of people will resonate with your experience. I’m glad to hear that you found the blog to be inspiring. You are not alone and I have a sense that something new and meaningful will arise from your struggles. Love, Bev
How can i find my path? What steps do i take to begin MY journey? Im 73 years old and feel like life is coming to a dull end…somedays im ready to lay down and go to sleep for ever. However i know ive still got passion
Hi Julie,
What a great question and one that many of us are asking and continue to ask throughout our lives. It’s so vital to focus on that sense of passion that you have. Such a powerful message that you have something that is needing/wanting to be expressed through you. The second half of life is about connecting with ourselves and inquiring about what our souls are asking of us.
One thing is certain, and that is the path is not all laid out in front of us. We need to begin to move through life as a “curious explorer”. Begin with things that you’re interested in and take baby steps. It’s also helpful to know that the soul wants us to be of service to something greater than ourselves. Continually asking, how can I be of service? Much love, Bev
I have been in the survival mode for quite a long time, that the basic things life have to offer to me comes as a result of struggle. This constant struggle has left me drained with void that i can’t explain. i am constantly looking for a way to improve my life and that of my dependents where opportunities are very limited and competitive. I feel there is more to my life than just waking up to 9 to 6 job and come back at night, to start the same routine till the weekend. i want something i can engage my body, soul and mind in and where i can take stock of happenings in my life.
Your article has been helpful, and i just find out while typing this that I lack true friendship even in my marriage, we only scratch the surface while I need soul alignment with my partner.
Thanks so much for your comment! You are definitely not alone in terms of feeling like you’ve been living in “survival” mode. The constant struggle does leave us feeling drained and it is for that reason I’m SO passionate about practices like meditation that help us recharge and become more resilient on the inside. You’ve had a powerful insight about lacking friendship in your marriage. That deeper sense of connection is so important for our health. It takes some work, but it is possible to find that deeper connection. I’m really thankful to hear that you found this post helpful. Love, Bev
I am 64 years old, retired 3 years ago thinking I had a lot to look forward to, but in that time I lost both of my parents and sister in law and then COVID-19 hit and now have no direction, feel empty and am down on life with that feeling that is this all there is, seems like the older I get, the more confused I get about what my purpose in this life is.
Hi Mark- I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of both your parents and your sister in law. What a painful time for you! My heart goes out to you. Please be gentle with yourself during this time and create space for your grief. Many feel a lack of purpose after retiring and a sense of emptiness and confusion. You are not alone! It becomes a new season in our life to begin a new journey of exploration and curiosity. With patience and over time, new things reveal themselves to us. I often find it more helpful to let go of the focus on “purpose” and get curious about what feels “meaningful?” Much love to you, Bev
I’m seventeen years old, currently studying my alevels at college. I’ve been feeling everything you described in your article and I’m so appreciative there are others who understand and are here to help us on our spiritual journey. My “current” focus from this article is to stop searching for fulfilment in external things. I’m will not find the satisfaction inside I desire from passing top marks in my exams, or buying new clothes, or gaining approval from my peers, everything I have I need within. Although this is hard I have recognised it is simply a pattern, I buy my new clothes and still feel empty so I seek other external energy. Thank you, for helping me. I say “current” because I know when I have achieved this step in my journey I can reread this article and know I will have a different perspective and different takeaway. Best wishes !
Hi Tallula- I am SO grateful that you took away such a powerful message from this blog. I really appreciate that you left a comment that is really inspiring to myself and others. You are definitely not alone in your spiritual journey. For you to be seeing the “patterns” in yourself is truly empowering. Thank you for sharing!!!! Please reach out anytime when you feel you need some guidance and/or support for your spiritual journey – bev@bevjanisch.com. Much love to you! Bev
Hello I came across your article when I searched up that why I feel something is missing in my life. I am really grateful that I’m not alone and that a lot feel this way too. I don’t know if I feel this way because of covid and all since people did say that affects of teens start to feel this way. Although school has started, I am online and will continue online school. I have felt ever since this covid and all till now that I am missing something. I believe in God and I feel like he may be calling me to do something but don’t know what…
Before this whole Covid, I was certain, positive and again certain with my life. But now I feel like I have lost that spark in me. That hope i lost, that faith in me I lost. And I feel more confused and lost and I feel a bit sad idk. Please email me back. I would love if you tell me what I should do that I feel this way. And what it really means that my soul or God is inviting me to this journey as you said something like that in your article. Thank you so much and I really hope to recieve and email from you. Thank you so much have a great day :)
Hi Daniela- I’m so glad to hear that it provides you with some comfort and relief to know that you are not alone!!!! I wrote this blog before COVID and am now seeing how a global pandemic is challenging many of us in ways that are difficult to understand. COVID is highlighting how important our real connections are. There is global “suffering” going on right now and it is so understandable that you feel sad and a loss for what we previously enjoyed and I for one at times took for granted. Know that you are not alone! You asked what you can do because you feel this way- I wrote a blog about practicing “self-compassion” with ourselves and I think it would be very helpful for you, and all of us at this difficult time. Self-compassion is a way of being with ourselves when we’re having a hard time. Here is a link to the blog with a description of HOW to actually do it. I truly believe this one practice changes lives and you’ll have it for the rest of your life: https://www.bevjanisch.com/compassion/. All my love you!!! Bev
It’s somewhat suffocating to live for the past few years , constantly missing something that I don’t even know to begin with.
Always felt that its a stage that would fade away soon than I expect; its been a long time
,And still it hurts to wake up in the morning and go on with all the wonderful things I got.
At times,it feels like I’m not giving much importance to everything I got and that I’m ungrateful,maybe I am.
Pillars of my life giving me support and everything I’m supposed to have and I cry till no tears are willing to come out at night .
I’m lost and I’ve been told that I’m too young to feel this.
Hence, please give me some advice if you can or want to.
Love,AK
Hi AK- Thanks for sharing! I want to acknowledge how hard it is to feel that something is missing and not be able to put your finger on what it is. Most of us have not been taught to look inside ourselves for answers. I’ve heard from many young people who also feel this way so you’re definitely not alone! If you haven’t already, I’m hoping you have an emotional health professional that you can speak with that perhaps could provide support and tools as well as give you the help you need to get some clarity about what might be missing. We’re not meant to do this alone. I’m sending much love to you, Bev.
Hi Bev , i Am constantly feeling like something is missing in my life ,my head even , i feel like i have a purpose in life but dont know what is it hence the reason i google im desperately seeking a cure for my crave, life is far too short and im wasting it .
Hi Teresa- Thanks for sharing! Although we’re all different, I’ve found it helpful to view my “purpose” in the context of what is happening in the present moment and the stage of life I’m in. Our purpose shifts and evolves. There is a lot to be learned from your sense of “craving” and perhaps it is inviting you to get curious about it. Much love to you! Bev
Hi Bev,
I feel the same Ghere is something missing on my life, more so in the last 2 weeks. It’s been a long time since I did not feel like this maybe 2.5 years ago when I embarked in a self discovery soul searching spiritual awareness journey without even knowing. Have gone along way and have even found a meaningful connection that has helped me and supported to transform many areas of my life but somehow I feel no longer connected with that meaningful connection all of the sudden and since this happened I also feel disconnected from me and feel a deep sense is something missing in my life of lack of joy. Even the synchronicities and signs I used to see se to have become more rare. Any advice would be very welcome. Thank you
Hi Andreea- thanks for your comment and that’s great to hear you’ve come a long way and found a meaningful connection. You’ve highlighted what naturally happens on the path of personal and spiritual development. We make progress and then find we reach what can best be described as a plateau or even what feels like a step backwards. When we notice this it is helpful to revisit our spiritual practices like meditation and make necessary modifications. I’ve also found the Enneagram extremely helpful for discerning an individual’s next steps for personal growth and transformation. This might also be a time when a person works with a mentor/guide/coach who can provide further direction and support in terms of the next steps. Much love to you, Bev.
Hii Bev,
I don’t know I suddenly feel that something is missing .like I don’t know but something is missing. I take care of every one. I want every single person to be happy but I do what every person love. I do what my parents want, what my cousins want, what my family want . I don’t know who I’m, what I want. I still don’t know how to explain my feelings. I feel I’m lost.
Hi Iman- Thanks for your comment! You described really well the root cause of feeling like something is missing in our lives. It’s our own sense of “self” and the plan our soul has for us. When we do what other people want it may be “right” for their path but it is often not our path. We lose ourselves in an attempt to please and satisfy other people’s expectations and make others happy. Finding our own sense of self and who we are at our core becomes the challenge for many of us in life. It takes courage to follow our own path at the risk of disappointing others. You are not alone! Much love to you, Bev.
Hi Bev,
So I’ve always heard that other people can’t make you happy, that you have to love yourself first. I’ve never really cared about that meaning until recently when I had a conversation about my marriage with my older sister. She made a comment that she’s never understood why me and my twin have always been broken, but we have been and still are. I have tended to just accept that I’m just here to be here. I’m not religious and it irks me every time my husband tells me that I just need to accept God and I’ll see things differently. I have tried religion before but it has never done anything for me. So now that I’m 33, almost 34, I feel more now that something is missing and I have no purpose or friends. So I just put in Google, why does it feel like something is missing inside, and this article came up. I read it and it resonated with me. It describes everything I feel and think. So I’m just trying to figure out like what my next step should be, I guess. Thank you for any help or advice you can give me.
Hi Krystyna! Thanks so much for sharing with us and I’m glad the article resonated with you! I really do agree that loving ourselves is key to living with deeper peace and happiness. You mentioned that your sister thinks you’re “broken” and I have the belief that while many of us are “disconnected” from our true selves, we are not broken. I too found that structured religion didn’t resonate with me, although I am very spiritual and have spiritual practices that connect me with something larger than myself. You had asked about what your next steps might be. I’m currently working on my next blog post to answer that question as many others have asked as well. Check back shortly for the post and/or sign up for my email list so you’ll be notified. I hope it will help with your next steps. Much love to you! Bev
Nothing fills the emptiness not a new job not a fun day out With loved ones …nothing I always come back home settle in an feel that feeling of something’s missing lingering within. Like there’s something bigger but I can’t see it or touch it but I know it’s there. It’s hard to explain. Great article
Hi, Christen-You describe so beautifully how we will never be filled from without, although that is where we often seek our fulfillment. Your sense that something bigger wants to emerge through you is a powerful sign of an invitation to awaken the deeper parts of yourself. It’s hard to explain for many of us because we’re opening to the mystery and the mystery is hard to put into words. Thank you for sharing your deep insights! Much love, Bev
Hey Bev,
I’m just a teenager but as long as I can remember I’ve always felt like there’s something missing – like I’m meant to do more or be more than I am. Do I just ignore this, and if not should I do something about this? I’m curious so I just searched ‘why do I feel like something’s missing?’, and was pleasantly surprised that this is something lots of people research and feel too. I guess I’m just wondering what advice you have on what to do, or what not to do. Good article by the way – it helped👍
Hi Annie – Thank you for leaving a comment and sharing how you’ve had a sense for a long time that something is missing. Such a powerful observation that you wonder whether you’re meant to do more or be more than you are. Many of us feel that same way and I’m so glad that you’ve realized from the post and the comments that you definitely aren’t alone!
You asked me about what you can do. Probably the most important thing is to learn to accept and love yourself for who you are. You are worthy and loved without having to “do” or “be” anything other than who you are!! Because that doesn’t come naturally to many of us, I often think the best place to start is with mindfulness. Have you tried mindfulness? There’s a free app called Stop, Breath & Think for teens that you can start with. Or Mindvalley has a good program which is free now because of Covid. Practicing mindfulness will serve you for the rest of your life. So much love to you, Bev
I was feeling so missing and I read your article and i got to know that . I am feeling missing because I don’t have the friend whom with I can share my deeper feelings and thoughts , but now what to do?
Hi Sakshi,
Yes, many of us long for deep connections with others. You asked what you could do. Do you have access to counselling? It’s often helpful to share these feelings with someone who understands and can perhaps support you in developing deeper friendships. Much love to you, Bev.
Hello bev,
I moved in to a boarding school for a year and a half and I always feel like something is missing I made a decent amount of friends but it’s not the same as where I came from. It just feels like something is missing where days just goes by and I keep questioning myself what the meaning in everything.
Maybe it is not really relevant but it’s been bothering me for quite a while, but is there any advice I can get from you? Thank you
Hi Oscar,
Thanks for sharing your experience! Moves are very unsettling and challenging for many people, so you are not alone! The feeling that something is missing is one of the most common things I hear from people around the world for all sorts of different reasons. Sometimes talking it over with someone you trust or writing about it in a journal can be helpful. If you believe in prayer, pray about it and ask for some insights or answers. Through all of this, practice being kind to yourself! You’ve asked the question and I trust the answers will come to you. Much love, Bev.
Thank you so much, I have been harsh to myself for a long time and I didn’t notice until just now.thank you for your advices and once again thank you so much
Oscar,
That is a HUGE realization that you’ve had. Most of us are harsh on ourselves. Even though I was a Nurse and kind to others, I too was really harsh on myself. Learning to be kinder with ourselves is the first and most important step. Perhaps check out Kristin Neff or Tara Brach as they both provide helpful ways to understand self-compassion and have free resources that will help you become kinder to yourself. Much love to you, Bev
Hi,
I really like being with other people but recently, I’ve been feeling like I don’t belong to any group and I’m alone
Hi Emmanuel,
That is a really tough place to be!!! I hope that you can see from these posts that many people feel this way and that you’re not alone. I’m sending much love to you! Bev
Hi I’m Jason. Ever since my good friend and roommate moved to texas a few yrs I have felt like something is missing socially. I feel like I’m lacking connections so I’ve started looking for friends and groups to join and dates. I have one good friend I can talk to regularly but I feel like I could open up to her more. I don’t know if a larger social life would help or not. I feel like there’s a void. It feels like a midlife crisis. I had a longterm girlfriend but I broke it off five yrs ago because their seemed to be a lack of passion. Maybe it was a lack of connection. I often find myself overeating.
Hi Jason,
Thanks for your vulnerability and for sharing how you’re wanting deeper connections. I too experienced these same feelings at “midlife” and came to learn that it was a choice point in my life. I wrote more about what Brené Brown calls the “midlife unraveling” in a blog that you can read HERE.. It really is an invitation to turn our attention inward in order to get to know ourselves better. As we deepen our connection with ourselves, we find that we deepen our connection with other people. I can also identify with overeating which spontaneously went away as I attended to my deeper needs. Much love on your journey, Bev
Hi bev,
Wow what a wonderful article to read. I resonated so deeply with it all. Last night I googled ” feeling like a lost soul” and this article appeared. I think the comforting thing is reading the comments and realising I’m not alone.
In my case, I’ve felt completely lost my whole life. I’m now 37 and still feel the way I did when I was 18. I can find that sweet spot when I meditate but I can’t seem to hold on to it. I do know what my soul is asking from me (at least I think I do) but I have trouble following it. I dream of living in the mountains somewhere too but because I live in extreme humidity in the tropics, I am miserable because I am not in my dream place. Anyways that is my little story. Thank you again x
Hi Casey,
Thanks so much for sharing how you stumbled upon this article. I always love when the Universe gifts us with the right message at the right time!
I’m so glad that you’re realizing that you’re not alone. I can really sense how challenging it is for you to have a feeling that your soul is asking something of you and you can’t seem to follow it. I wonder if exploring that resistance at a deeper level might reveal some insights that may help you either move forward or find peace where you are. I am sending you energy to harness your inner power to help you get “unstuck.” Perhaps others that read this could also send you some energy. Much love, Bev
Hello bev, I feel that the universe wanted me to find this article, I can relate to every single thing you wrote in this article I’m so thankful for the article you wrote
Hi Rud,
I’m so glad the article found you!!! Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment. Much love, Bev
Hi Bev, glad I found this article. I am so confused. I should be grateful and I am grateful as I have many many wonderful things in my life. I am 67 years old and have two wonderful children and five grandchildren that I cherish. I felt I had to leave an 18 year common law relationship when I was 64 years old due to his cheating, lying, violent temper. I thought this would make me happier but I just feel empty, like I have lost my way, a lost soul. I know covid has affected me and everyone but I have felt like this off and on my entire life. It’s like I am searching for something or someone but I don’t know what or who. There are so many things I could say but I could actually write a book and I know this is for commenting only. Even though you don’t know my whole story, can you help me out please and maybe give me some insight as to why I feel like this? Thank you Bev!
Hi Cher,
I’m also really glad that you found the article. Coincidences are such a powerful sign that you’re on the right track. I can really relate to what you described about being grateful and yet something is still missing…
That sense of “searching for something or someone but don’t know what or who” is often the first sign of spiritual awakening. I don’t know where you are on your path but it is an invitation to go “deeper” within yourself. We often search outside ourselves to other people, jobs, money etc. and yet there comes a time when the soul is saturated with material living that it beckons us to embark on the inner journey.
My inner journey began with meditation and that provided a way to slowly come home to my true self. Through meditation, I began to see the parts of myself that needed healing – like relationships from the past that were impacting me because there were unresolved issues. As I gained awareness I reached out to those that could help me grow and integrate my lessons so that I could move forward.
You may find reading my book helpful, “Awakening a Woman’s Soul” which describes in detail the journey of coming “home” to ourselves when we feel something is missing. Much love to you, Bev
Thanks for the article. My name is Eve and I’m 19 yrars old. I personally feel disconnected from society, just like your article when things started to change and people started to move on with their lives, I started to feel different, I felt for longing for something or someone. I tried getting it from my boyfriend but at the end I still wasn’t satisfied. I tried so much to fit my life into his, tried to please him and lost my focus on God and was too focused on him. One day I just broke down in tears the whole day and I knew something was wrong. That’s when I knew God wasn’t in my life, I wasn’t doing what I love and I asked myself one question am I happy? That day I realized I’m not. In the process of being a perfect girlfriend I lost myself, I don’t even know what I’m passionate about or my interests. I used to know what I wanted out in life, I had dreams, I was confident and loved myself. Now I feel insecure, doubful of my choices and forcing everything. I’m just working in school for the sake to please my parents. I’m not sure if it’s all in my head but I feel like I’m pushing everyone away from me. I’m not communicating like I used too, but in public I tend to pretend everything is okay even in front of my family. Not sure what to do with my life.
Hi Eve,
Thank you for sharing your deep insights with us! You described so beautifully what so many of us are experiencing – a sense of disconnect from our true selves. By asking the question about what was standing in the way of your happiness, it sounds like you got a clear answer. That you lost yourself and your own dreams, passions and interests. You are definitely not alone and I too have experienced that. When we do things to please others or to try and be as you say the “perfect girlfriend” or what we feel our parents want us to be, we’re not honoring our authentic selves. In meditation I love asking the questions, “What is my heart’s desire; How can I best love myself; Who am I.” When we ask the questions we open ourselves up to receive the answers. They may come in the form of books, teachers, counselors, dreams, coincidences, messages or any number of ways that point to what our next step might be. When I felt I was pushing people away it was really about coming home to myself so I could re-engage from a more authentic place. Sometimes we can be so focused on others that we lose touch with ourselves. You are a wise soul and I know the answers will come to you. Much love, Bev
Hello Bev, am Stephanie a nineteen year old from Zambia,i have been feeling so empty inside for the past few months,to the point i felt life was just so meaningless but when i came across your blog while trying to search for,”what it means when you feel like your life is missing something?” my entire perspective changed and i’m so grateful to have come across your article,right now i feel some sense of relife to see that am not the only one going through what i thought and called ” a bad spirit” and seeing that it’s far from it and just means that my soul is trying to come through to me is yet another relife and i have strong belief that with all your guidance in the article i will be able to recandle what i feel was turned off in me, am so humbled…God bless you
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for sharing how reading this post helped you to shift your perspective about what this sense that something is missing is all about. It’s very powerful that you now see it as your soul giving you messages rather than “a bad spirit.” Our soul expands every time we create meaning in our lives and I’m humbled that my own journey has helped you to do this. Much love to you, Bev
My life has been traumatised by abandonment over and over again. One month a go I lost my soul mate and best friend. In the outside I function but on the inside I am sad most and feel I have lost a part of myself.
I don’t know what do with these inner losses or even where to put them.
A psychologist is out of my budget as I am a 62 year old Australian woman who feels like I just shouldn’t be here. I hope you can help me with this puzzle. Thank you
Dear Diane,
I am SO sorry to hear about the loss of your soul mate and best friend. What a deeply painful time for you. You are not alone in not knowing what to do with your inner losses. My heart really goes out to you and I know others reading this will also be sending you love and will resonate very profoundly with what you’ve shared.
This very painful loss is an invitation to show yourself a deep sense of self-compassion and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. This may be a time that you’re meant to ask God, the Universe, or whatever you pray to for guidance and ask that you receive the support that you need. I too will send out a prayer that you receive the love and necessary support. So much love to you! Bev
Hi Bev. This is very out of my
Comfort zone as I was raised to be very independent and to know that reaching out was largely a sign of weakness. I’m only 22 and I, like you said, have SO much to be grateful for. Aside from COVID-19 I feel I am at the precipice of a really important and transformative time in my life but I feel so lost at where to begin. I would love to send you an email as I feel like I don’t really have anyone else to reach out to right now.
Hi Matilda,
Thanks for reaching out and finding the courage to step beyond your comfort zone! It’s when we move into that space that feels uncomfortable that things begin to shift in the most mysterious ways. Reaching out is a sign of strength and you’re inspiring many of us by doing that.
Yes, please do listen to that inner knowing that this is a transformative time for you. I’d love to hear from you at bev@bevjanisch.com and explore how I can best support you! Love, Bev
Hi Bev,
You’re words are on point. These are the exact questions I ask myself every day. I know something is lacking and I want to live as a spiritual being as well. I hope you can teach me how.