If you feel like something is missing in your life, you’re not alone!
Since publishing the blog, What Does It Mean If You Feel Something Is Missing In Your Life, I’ve received emails and comments from people around the world, who have a sense that something is missing. If you haven’t read the blog, perhaps that’s a good place to start.
It was a very confusing time in my life because I had SO much to be grateful for. And yet, there was still something missing.
The feeling that something is missing is a “symptom” arising from our true self (soul).
I’ve had many people ask me to share what the next steps are if you feel something is missing. While I share 3 basic steps, the journey of coming home to yourself is anything but linear. It ultimately involves a process of healing yourself, knowing your true self, and then growing into the best version of yourself possible.
Step 1: Develop a healthy relationship with yourself.
This is perhaps the hardest step because it means you are taking radical responsibility for your own life. You’re shifting your awareness and energy onto yourself and your own life. You’re acknowledging that you need to get to know your innermost self, and that’s never comfortable.
It’s also the most challenging step because no one can do the work for you.
It’s not like going to a chiropractor for a quick adjustment or a massage therapist to work out some muscular tension. It’s a deep journey that only you can take.
It starts with shifting your attention inward for awhile – letting go of the need to control the outer circumstances of your life.
It doesn’t mean that the outer things in your life won’t need to change, it just means you’re putting that aside for a while so that you can learn how to have a better relationship with yourself.
What does it mean to have a better relationship with yourself?
It means you need to learn how to deal with your stress from the inside out; deal with your emotions in healthy ways; release toxic emotions like resentment; practice self-love and self-compassion, develop healthy boundaries; release limiting conditioned beliefs from the past, embrace your masculine/feminine energy, and begin to feel grounded, peaceful and balanced on the inside.
Developing a healthy relationship with yourself goes a long way towards addressing the feeling that something is missing.
How do you develop a healthy relationship with yourself?
There are many paths and it depends on where you’re at in your journey.
It often requires the help of others who can serve as guides and mentors to help you process and integrate your past, be more present in your current life and develop a vision for your future best self.
Many of us on the path of personal and spiritual development have been drawn to meditation practices because they give us the tools to turn inward and begin to develop a healthier relationship with ourselves.
If you haven’t already, I would highly recommend that you begin a simple meditation practice.
In the post, With So Many Choices How Do I Pick The Best Meditation For Me? I share some tips about where to begin. It also includes some resources that may be helpful. That would be my recommendation for a place to start.
If you already have a meditation practice and have learned how to calm your body and mind that’s amazing! It’s a tool and practice that will serve you for the rest of your life.
Meditation, while being a vital tool for the seekers’ toolkit, does have its limitations.
What I and others have found is that after we’ve settled our nervous systems, developed skill in working with our minds, emotions, integrated and healed our inner child experiences, we reach a plateau in our growth.
Just as we thought we’d finally arrived the Universe decided to shake things up again by giving us the inner knowing that we’re ready for the next stage of our development.
A stage that involves envisioning and stepping into your future best self.
Step 2: Develop self-awareness about your future best self.
While meditation and mindfulness enable us to develop a better relationship with ourselves, it doesn’t give us the full picture and a path or way forward in becoming our best selves.
It provides a solid foundation from which to build a house, but it isn’t the house itself.
How do you build a house that represents your future self?
As I was beginning to wonder about this, I was introduced to the Enneagram.
The Enneagram, a spiritually based personality typing system, enables us to see what our meditation practices can’t. A deeper understanding of what is required to embody our best selves where we are fully thriving in all aspects of our lives.
The Enneagram has been described as an awareness accelerator. It helps us determine our own unique path for growth that enables us to envision our true selves.
As we get closer to our core essence, the feeling that something is missing is replaced with a state of deep inner peace and alignment.
This alignment between our inner world and how it’s expressed in the outer world is further facilitated by learning how to get in the “flow” of life in order to be open to receiving messages about our path.
Step 3: Harness the power of the Universe to guide your next steps.
Another tool for your toolkit would be a very simple practice that invites the Universe/Divine/God/Life force or whatever you call “it” to assist you and show you your next step.
You’re not meant to have it all figured out before you get started. You only need to open yourself up to the next step.
To assist with this, you ask for signs from the Universe. What you’ll find is that your meditation practice creates a fertile environment within yourself to receive the signs. You then take the next step.
How do you harness the power of the Universe?
This is where a gratitude or prayer practice is helpful.
As a person who has never been “religious”, I didn’t learn how to pray. And in many ways, I’m grateful for that as I have developed a way to connect with that life force energy that feels right for me.
Simple prayers to support your journey might be:
Please show me what my next step might be.
Please give me a sign.
Please help me to surrender to the uncertainty.
Please give me the strength to take the next step.
Please bring me a guide or the support that I need.
The truth is that the process of transformation takes time. It requires a commitment to do the “work” and to your spiritual practices.
It asks that we develop patience, self-compassion, and trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
It involves a process of stripping away who you are not in order to see more clearly who you actually are.
And as you learn to connect more deeply with yourself, others and the mysteries of life, that sense that something is missing slowly diminishes. And then one day you wake up and realize that you’ve come home to yourself and you don’t feel like anything is missing.
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