Simple Presence Practice

A forgiveness practice is one of our most transformative presence practices, yet it’s often the one we resist when we need it most.

When we encounter betrayal, hurt, or disappointment, whether caused by ourselves or others, our instinct is often to hold on, to nurse the wound, or to seek immediate justice. This comes from a protective place, but it can also mean we miss the profound medicine of simply being present with what needs to be released.

True forgiveness isn’t about condoning harmful behaviour or pretending nothing happened. It’s the quiet act of freeing ourselves — of saying through our practice, “I choose healing over holding on. I don’t have to carry this pain.”

A Story That Shaped Everything

Sometimes, the moments that shape our lives aren’t the big achievements or milestones. They’re the quiet, unseen acts of release that shift something deep inside us.

When we learn to approach forgiveness from the spiritual perspective that we are souls having challenging human experiences, everything changes. It’s not about bypassing our story or jumping too quickly to letting go — we must first honor our hurt and tell our truth. As I shared in a previous post, when we bypass the story, we risk denying our feelings because they feel uncomfortable. But once we’ve done that sacred foundational work, we’re ready to enlist the help of something bigger than ourselves.

The ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono showed me what it meant to move from victim consciousness to taking responsibility for my healing, not with blame, but with the profound medicine of spiritual alchemy.

What the Science Says

Research shows that forgiveness has a powerful healing effect on both our psychological and physical well-being. When we release resentment and choose forgiveness, our body and mind register profound relief as old patterns of stress begin to dissolve.

The practice of forgiveness:

• Reduces cortisol levels and chronic stress
• Lowers blood pressure and heart rate
• Strengthens immune system function
• Increases overall life satisfaction
• Activates the parasympathetic nervous system

The science behind the research confirms, forgiveness doesn’t just feel spiritually significant; it literally transforms our health, helping us move from the toxic effects of long-term resentment into freedom and peace.

What the Soul Knows

Forgiveness is more than an emotional choice — it’s a way of being present to life’s inevitable pain and choosing transformation. It’s the soul’s quiet recognition that says:

“I see what happened. I honor my hurt. And I choose to heal and be free.”

When we approach forgiveness this way, whether toward ourselves or others, we create sacred space where alchemy can begin. Not because we’re denying what occurred, but because we’re ready to neutralize the painful energy we carry about it.

Ho’oponopono reminds us that everything that happens to us is happening for us, offering opportunities to grow both psychologically and spiritually. From this perspective, even our most challenging experiences become gateways back to wholeness.

A Simple Forgiveness Practice

If you haven’t already done the foundational emotional work outlined in Learning How to Forgive Will Free Your Heart and Expand Your Soul, you may want to start there first.

When you notice pain that’s ready to be released — whether toward yourself or someone else — try this gentle Ho’oponopono practice:

The Four Sacred Phrases (directed not to yourself or the other person, but to the Divine/Universe/Spirit):

• “I’m sorry” — I acknowledge my part in co-creating this situation. I am not a victim but responsible for my healing.
• “Please forgive me” — I recognize I may have responded in ways that don’t align with my true nature of love and compassion.
• “Thank you” — For this experience that allowed me to heal, explore my soul lessons, and grow closer to my authentic self.
• “I love you” — The energy of healing that arises from the heart, transforming pain into wisdom.

Before repeating these phrases, soften your body, perhaps placing a hand over your heart, and ask gently: “What would forgiveness look like here, if I didn’t need to fix or change anyone?”

The most profound healing often happens not when we change what hurt us, but when we allow the energy of that hurt to be transformed through love.

The Ripple Effect of Forgiveness

What I’ve discovered is that these moments of choosing forgiveness don’t just heal us in the present — they teach us how to hold space for others’ healing too.

When we’ve learned to neutralize the painful energy within ourselves, we naturally become people who can witness others’ pain without taking it on. We learn that changing ourselves creates a ripple of healing in the world, starting with our own liberation.

These sacred acts of forgiveness create ripples that extend far beyond what we can see, touching lives and freeing energy in ways we may never know.